adBlockCheck

Green Considered Feminine

Top Headlines

Recent News

Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Nightlife

Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Green Considered Feminine

A study conducted by OgilvyEarth, four out of five Americans said going green is "more feminine than masculine." What do you think?

  • "As a woman, I admit that watching a man gobble up every resource available without giving a thought to the impact on the environment really gets my motor running."

    Tabitha Melvoin
    Systems Analyst
  • "That's why I only buy organic foods that take great strength to chew."

    Roger Mark
    Overcoiler
  • "Well, once all of the women save the world, I intend to give them the best sex of their lives, so it all works out in the end."

    Jamie Rivkin
    Unemployed

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close