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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Greenhouse Gas Levels Reach All-Time High

Last year, according to the World Meteorological Organization, atmospheric concentrations of greenhouse gases—including carbon dioxide, methane, and nitrous oxide—rose to their highest levels ever recorded. What do you think?

  • “I heard we can fix this if we just agree to reuse our hotel towels.”

    Naomi Larsen Gynecologist
  • “Before everyone freaks out, let’s give it a few decades and see if it gets better on its own.”

    Anderson Sidley Unemployed
  • “That’s not true. See? It’s easy to have this not be a problem anymore.”

    Harvey Rogers Dairy Equipment Sterilizer
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