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Ground-Beef Recall

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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

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Ground-Beef Recall

More than 5000 pounds of Iowan ground beef was recalled due to suspicions of an E. coli contamination. What to you think?
  • "All this E. coli talk makes me wonder if I should stop eating lunch while on the toilet."

    Miriam Stollman Systems Analyst
  • "I'm sorry, but I just can't live my life worrying about every pound of raw meat I consume."

    Skip Tailor Pool Cleaner
  • "That’s it. I’m just eating high-fructose corn syrup from now on."

    Phillip Alveda Mechanic

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