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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.
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Groups Oppose Perry's Prayer Meeting

Several groups, including the Texas ACLU, have voiced their opposition to Texas governor Rick Perry's participation in a day of Christian prayer and fasting this past weekend, saying it violates the separation of church and state. What do you think?

  • “Well, the Constitution does bar the establishment of a state religion, but it also guarantees an individual’s right to the free exercise of superstition, so it’s a tricky case.”

    Marvin Blair Systems Analyst
  • "As long as it's Christian prayer, I don't think it violated the separation of church and state."

    Clarice Bernier Glaze Handler
  • "Why's everybody getting so worked up? All he's going to do is pray for stuff; it's not like anything is actually going to happen."

    Jerry Schuster Rafter

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