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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
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GSA Under Fire

The General Services Administration, a relatively obscure federal government office, is under congressional scrutiny for spending more than $800,000 at a Las Vegas conference in 2010. What do you think?

  • "What a disgrace. Any properly run government agency should be able to blow through way more money than that in Vegas."

    David Tappert Automobile Upholsterer
  • "It's easy to criticize, but do you have any idea how much decent lanyards cost these days?"

    Bruce Guttridge Pellet-Mill Operator
  • "Sometimes government bureaucrats are corrupt or incompetent. Let's use this argument to completely abolish Medicare and Social Security."

    Dorothy Carey Frame Bander

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