adBlockCheck

Guacamole, Salsa Faulted For Outbreaks

Top Headlines

Recent News

360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Guacamole, Salsa Faulted For Outbreaks

A new study from the Centers for Disease Control found that nearly one out of every 25 food-borne illnesses traced to restaurants is caused by contaminated salsa or guacamole. What do you think?

  • "But salsa is what I put on food to disinfect it."

    Michelle McCrea Paralegal
  • "Feeling like shit is just your body's way of telling you it's time to stop eating."

    Warren Jones Systems Analyst
  • "Of course, with violent diarrhea and vomiting, I can eat all the guac I want!"

    Josiah Robertson Varnish Filterer

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close