Guantánamo Closure Delayed

In This Section

Vol 45 Issue 21

Archie To Choose Betty Or Veronica

After nearly 68 years, a grown-up Archie Andrews will ask either Betty or Veronica for her hand in marriage in an upcoming issue of his eponymous...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage


Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...


Guantánamo Closure Delayed

By a margin of 90-6, the Senate voted down funding to relocate the 240 inmates being held at Guantánamo Bay to facilities on American soil. What do you think?
  • "Maybe if we leave it open just one more week, we'll find out if they did it."

    Martha DePrima
    Systems Analyst
  • "You don't close a detention camp. You make it bigger and spikier."

    Ulrich Schuknecht
  • "What a relief. Next to death and divorce, moving is the most painful thing in the world."

    Dan Everson
    Saddle Stitcher
Jump to next story

Onion Video

Watch More