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Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
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Guinness Pulls Sponsorship Of St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Guinness announced that it is withdrawing its sponsorship of the New York City St. Patrick’s Day parade in protest over the organizers’ policy of disallowing gay veterans from openly marching in the parade. What do you think?

  • “Darn. Nothing ruins a parade like having less advertising.”

    Jim Patric Wood Beam Installer
  • “I just wish every company had the guts to stand with the majority of the popular opinion at the last possible moment like that.”

    Jason Raynor Systems Analyst
  • “Is there at least enough time for a more homophobic brewing company to step in?”

    Jennifer Cates Choreography Consultant

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Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.

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