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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Guinness Pulls Sponsorship Of St. Patrick’s Day Parade

Guinness announced that it is withdrawing its sponsorship of the New York City St. Patrick’s Day parade in protest over the organizers’ policy of disallowing gay veterans from openly marching in the parade. What do you think?

  • “Darn. Nothing ruins a parade like having less advertising.”

    Jim Patric Wood Beam Installer
  • “I just wish every company had the guts to stand with the majority of the popular opinion at the last possible moment like that.”

    Jason Raynor Systems Analyst
  • “Is there at least enough time for a more homophobic brewing company to step in?”

    Jennifer Cates Choreography Consultant

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