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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Gun Sales Surge After Shooting

In the wake of last Friday’s mass shooting at a midnight showing of The Dark Knight Rises, sales of firearms have surged in many states, with Colorado in particular reporting a 43 percent increase in gun sales from the previous week. What do you think?

  • “Finally, the silver lining we’ve all been waiting for.”

    Adam Lyons Dental Ceramist
  • “Be warned: They could be wasting their time and money. I own two automatic rifles and three Glocks, and still no one has invited me to join a well-regulated militia.”

    Steve Fenbert Garment Fitter
  • “It’s nice to see consumers out spending again.”

    Emily Napolitano Mail Clerk

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