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Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
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Guns Now Legal In National Parks

A law that took effect Monday makes it legal to carry loaded guns in national parks, as long as owners comply with state rules. What do you think?
  • "Finally, I can protect my family from the giant sequoia."

    Catherine Vincennes Unemployed
  • "Uh-oh, this kind of rash decision is certainly going to increase the level of dad-on-dad crimes."

    Andrew Exley Systems Analyst
  • "Just stay calm. If you encounter a gunman in the wild, simply puff up your coat to make yourself appear bigger than him and slowly back away."

    Peter White High-Pressure Kettle Operator

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