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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Gwyneth Paltrow Named World’s Most Beautiful Woman

Just days after Star magazine declared her the “Most Hated Celebrity,” People magazine named actress Gwyneth Paltrow as the “World’s Most Beautiful Woman” for 2013, succeeding last year’s winner Beyoncé. What do you think?

  • “If I know Gwyneth, she’d prefer to be known as a mother first and the most beautiful woman in the world second.”

    Elmo Reiner Flap-Lining Binder
  • “Hated and beautiful? At the same time? Imagine that.”

    Roger Meehan Car Cleaner
  • “Now Beyoncé has nothing.”

    Bess DeLuisa Lobbyist
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