Gwyneth Paltrow Named World’s Most Beautiful Woman

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Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.

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Gwyneth Paltrow Named World’s Most Beautiful Woman

Just days after Star magazine declared her the “Most Hated Celebrity,” People magazine named actress Gwyneth Paltrow as the “World’s Most Beautiful Woman” for 2013, succeeding last year’s winner Beyoncé. What do you think?

  • “If I know Gwyneth, she’d prefer to be known as a mother first and the most beautiful woman in the world second.”

    Elmo Reiner
    Flap-Lining Binder
  • “Hated and beautiful? At the same time? Imagine that.”

    Roger Meehan
    Car Cleaner
  • “Now Beyoncé has nothing.”

    Bess DeLuisa
    Lobbyist
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