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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
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Hacker Hijacks Family’s Baby Monitor, Shouts At Child

An unknown individual reportedly hacked into a Houston family’s wireless baby monitor, pivoting the camera around the 2-year-old’s room and using the monitor’s communication system to shout expletives at both the child and her parents. What do you think?

  • “Was it a rival baby?”

    James Finkelman Unemployed
  • “Look, not everyone’s good with kids.”

    Ellen Bartkowiak Church Janitor
  • “Please provide more details about how, exactly, to do this.”

    Harold Gore Birdcage Assembler

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