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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Hacker Hijacks Family’s Baby Monitor, Shouts At Child

An unknown individual reportedly hacked into a Houston family’s wireless baby monitor, pivoting the camera around the 2-year-old’s room and using the monitor’s communication system to shout expletives at both the child and her parents. What do you think?

  • “Was it a rival baby?”

    James Finkelman Unemployed
  • “Look, not everyone’s good with kids.”

    Ellen Bartkowiak Church Janitor
  • “Please provide more details about how, exactly, to do this.”

    Harold Gore Birdcage Assembler

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