Hacker Hijacks Family’s Baby Monitor, Shouts At Child

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Group Of Christie Campaign Deserters Found In Forest

SHAMONG, NJ—Huddling together around fires of burning yard signs while sipping small rations of soup from mugs adorned with the phrase “Telling It Like It Is,” a ragged encampment of advisers, pollsters, and volunteers who deserted Chris Christie’s presidential campaign was reportedly found living deep in a New Jersey forest Friday, authorities confirmed.

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It’s not easy to decide when and how to have a discussion with children about sex, and many parents wonder how explicit they should be or where to establish boundaries. Here are The Onion’s tips for having “the talk” with your kids:

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Sight Of 400 War Elephants On Horizon Marks Hillary Clinton’s Arrival In Swing State

WHEELING, OH—Feeling the earth shake beneath them as they watched the procession climb over the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains toward their village, sources along the Ohio border confirmed Thursday that the sight of 400 war elephants marching on the horizon marked Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton’s arrival to the critical swing state.
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Hacker Hijacks Family’s Baby Monitor, Shouts At Child

An unknown individual reportedly hacked into a Houston family’s wireless baby monitor, pivoting the camera around the 2-year-old’s room and using the monitor’s communication system to shout expletives at both the child and her parents. What do you think?

  • “Was it a rival baby?”

    James Finkelman
  • “Look, not everyone’s good with kids.”

    Ellen Bartkowiak
    Church Janitor
  • “Please provide more details about how, exactly, to do this.”

    Harold Gore
    Birdcage Assembler