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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Half Of Americans Believe In Medical Conspiracy Theories

According to a new survey, nearly half of Americans believe in at least one medical conspiracy theory, among them that the FDA is hiding disease cures under pressure from drug companies and that health officials are concealing the fact that cell phones cause cancer. What do you think?

  • “As if any information could be concealed or doctored in exchange for money or political power.”

    Rachel Lettvin Art Restorer
  • “How’re we supposed to know what to believe when we’re presented with decades of peer-reviewed research supporting the consensus of the scientific community and then my aunt posts the exact opposite thing on Facebook?”

    George Lewis Electrical Outlet Wirer
  • “That’s ridiculous. Our government doesn’t care if we live or die.”

    Troy Sheeran Unemployed
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