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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.
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Half Of Americans Believe In Medical Conspiracy Theories

According to a new survey, nearly half of Americans believe in at least one medical conspiracy theory, among them that the FDA is hiding disease cures under pressure from drug companies and that health officials are concealing the fact that cell phones cause cancer. What do you think?

  • “As if any information could be concealed or doctored in exchange for money or political power.”

    Rachel Lettvin Art Restorer
  • “How’re we supposed to know what to believe when we’re presented with decades of peer-reviewed research supporting the consensus of the scientific community and then my aunt posts the exact opposite thing on Facebook?”

    George Lewis Electrical Outlet Wirer
  • “That’s ridiculous. Our government doesn’t care if we live or die.”

    Troy Sheeran Unemployed

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