adBlockCheck

Half Of U.S. Kids Use Smartphone Or Computer By Age 2

Top Headlines

Recent News

Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Half Of U.S. Kids Use Smartphone Or Computer By Age 2

A new study found that 48 percent of American children under the age of 2 have used a computer or mobile device, flouting the latest recommendations issued by the American Academy of Pediatrics. What do you think?

  • “What are they supposed to look at?”

    Rodrigo Gallego Notch Grinder
  • “It takes some brass balls to defy the American Academy of Pediatrics.”

    Dusty Baxter Railway Track Inspector
  • “Once they come out of the womb, they’re not my problem anymore.”

    Wendy Newberry Eyeglasses Salesperson

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close