Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Halloween Costumes

What are you dressing up as for Halloween?

  • "Whatever everyone's sick of hearing about."

    Dean McKaha Systems Analyst
  • "You don't strike me as enough of a Star Wars fan to get the reference."

    Robin Story Drafter
  • "Well, my girlfriend’s going as a slut, so I guess I’m going as a sleazeball no matter what costume I decide to wear."

    Steven Butler Boat Rental Clerk
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