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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Hamas Victorious

Following Sharon's replacement and the recent political victory for Hamas, the future of the Middle East looks more uncertain than ever. What do you think?
  • "I'm confident Hamas will embrace peace once it destroys Israel."

    Matthew Christiansen Historian
  • "Well, so much for my spring-break plans."

    Caroline Beck Editor
  • "You heard it here first—I predict we are going to see many years of violence and unrest in the Middle East."

    Uri Reed Corporate Spokesman
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