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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Happy Birthday, Patrick Duffy

Today is acting legend Patrick Duffy’s 65th birthday. What do you think?

  • "Sixty-five years on this blue rock and all he has to show for it is the awe and admiration of billions. Not bad, Mr. Duffy!"

    Henry Mills Aviation Operations Specialist
  • “Ah, the Patrick Duffy New Year. So we’re in 65 A.P.D now?”

    Jana Purcell Location Scout
  • “You mean The Duffster? I’m just kidding; that may not actually be one of his nicknames. But it could be—we don’t know. That’s what’s so great about life.”

    Dave Hartman Petroleum Geologist
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