Happy Birthday, Patrick Duffy

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Vol 50 Issue 11

Cheddar Cheese Prices Skyrocket Due To Chinese Demand

The Dairy Export Council reported this week that the cost of cheddar cheese climbed 18 percent this year to its highest price ever because domestic manufacturers have been unable to meet the demand for cheese by Chinese purchasers.

Lowly Mortal Opens Portal To Hell

John Kerry poses as a masseuse to get a few minutes with Putin, parents reminisce to their children about the dating algorithm that brought them together, and a lowly mortal opens a portal to hell.

Surge Answered With Rally

SAN DIEGO—With a succession of quick baskets during the NCAA Tournament Friday, sources confirmed that a surge was quickly answered by a rally.

Sleep Loss Can Cause Brain Damage

A study published this week in the journal Neuroscience found that inconsistent sleep patterns, including not sleeping enough and sleeping erratic hours, can result in an irreversible loss of brain neurons.
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Happy Birthday, Patrick Duffy

Today is acting legend Patrick Duffy’s 65th birthday. What do you think?

  • "Sixty-five years on this blue rock and all he has to show for it is the awe and admiration of billions. Not bad, Mr. Duffy!"

    Henry Mills
    Aviation Operations Specialist
  • “Ah, the Patrick Duffy New Year. So we’re in 65 A.P.D now?”

    Jana Purcell
    Location Scout
  • “You mean The Duffster? I’m just kidding; that may not actually be one of his nicknames. But it could be—we don’t know. That’s what’s so great about life.”

    Dave Hartman
    Petroleum Geologist
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