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‘SportsCenter’ Co-Anchors Clearly Dating

BRISTOL, CT—Saying that the pair could barely take their eyes off one another throughout the hour-long sports news program, ESPN viewers told reporters Friday that it is increasingly clear SportsCenter anchors John Anderson and Matt Barrie are currently dating.

Terrifying Uniformed Bachelorette Party Storms Local Bar

TACOMA, WA—Bursting into the establishment seemingly out of nowhere and overtaking it within a matter of moments, a terrifying uniformed bachelorette party stormed local pub Casey’s Saloon Friday night, onlookers reported.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Happy New Year

The New Year is full of promise and mystery. How did you ring in 2012?

  • "Can you just write that I did a drinking motion with my hand, winked, and said, 'No comment'? And can you say that you laughed?"

    Patty Schilder
    Systems Analyst
  • "I’m not gay or anything, but I did have a celebratory smooch with the other guy stealing copper wire out of that abandoned warehouse."

    Derek Reutershan
    Unemployed
  • "It's 2012? Then there's still time!"

    Xavier Song
    Photoengraver
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