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Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Harris: Non-Christian Politicians 'Legislate Sin'

Congresswoman Katherine Harris (R-FL) recently stated that separation of church and state was "a lie," and that non-Christian elected officials would "legislate sin." What do you think?
  • "She wasn't saying that Christians are the only people fit to make laws—just that they're the only people, period."

    Wendy Raudive Customer Support
  • "As a sin lobbyist, I have to say that Harris is making it very difficult for sinner interests and the sin platform."

    Constatin Clark Sin Lobbyist
  • "What kind of lie is 'separation of church and state?' A 'the check is in the mail' kind of lie, or a 'the world was created in seven days and dinosaurs never existed' kind of lie?"

    Andy Lees Systems Analyst

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