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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Harris: Non-Christian Politicians 'Legislate Sin'

Congresswoman Katherine Harris (R-FL) recently stated that separation of church and state was "a lie," and that non-Christian elected officials would "legislate sin." What do you think?
  • "She wasn't saying that Christians are the only people fit to make laws—just that they're the only people, period."

    Wendy Raudive Customer Support
  • "As a sin lobbyist, I have to say that Harris is making it very difficult for sinner interests and the sin platform."

    Constatin Clark Sin Lobbyist
  • "What kind of lie is 'separation of church and state?' A 'the check is in the mail' kind of lie, or a 'the world was created in seven days and dinosaurs never existed' kind of lie?"

    Andy Lees Systems Analyst
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