Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher Return For New ‘Star Wars’ Film

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Vol 50 Issue 17

60 Teens Arrested In Senior Class Prank

More than 60 students from Teaneck High School in New Jersey were arrested this week after they taped hot dogs to lockers and urinated all over the floors as part of a senior class prank.
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Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher Return For New ‘Star Wars’ Film

After concealing the cast from fans, director J.J. Abrams finally announced this week that Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, and Carrie Fisher will be returning for the new Star Wars film in their roles as Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Princess Leia. What do you think?

  • “Harrison Ford will always be Tommy Lillard from The Frisco Kid to me.”

    Calvin Jacobson
    Sidewalk Hoser
  • “Judging by the returning cast, it’s safe to assume the movie takes place 30 long, harrowing years after Jedi.”

    Marcia Ellsbury
    Systems Analyst
  • “It’s nice to know I’m not the only one who should’ve outgrown these characters 30 years ago.”

    Jack Hargrove
    Cream Cheese Spreader
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