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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Harvard Author Caught Plagiarizing

Harvard sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan, who was paid the largest advance for an unpublished author, admitted to having "unintentionally" borrowed passages from author Megan McCafferty for her book How Opal Mehta Got Kissed, Got Wild, and Got a Life. What do you think?
  • "It's sad when a negative stereotype is reinforced by incidents like these, but I've always said: Indians are dirty plagiarizers."

    Kim Bellings Croupier
  • "This just goes to show there are many things a Harvard education can't teach you, like how to use a thesaurus to cover up your plagiarism."

    David Niles Portrait Photographer
  • "A Million Little Pieces was one thing, but this is outrageous. I expect teen fiction to be completely original."

    Kevin Umbehaun Lawn Mower
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