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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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'Hatecore' Music Used As Recruitment Tool

The revelation that Wisconsin shooter Wade Michael Page played in the hardcore punk white-power bands End Apathy and Definite Hate has increased the public’s awareness of the so-called ‘hatecore’ style of music, which is used as a recruitment tool by white supremacist organizations. What do you think?

  • “Maybe I’m old-fashioned, but I prefer the old racist soft jazz.”

    Bo Sheng Li Systems Analyst
  • “One day I hope to live in a world where hardcore racist music isn’t created to recruit white supremacists, but is instead played purely for the enjoyment of its listeners.”

    Cynthia Cutolo Needle Straightener
  • “I can see why they would use this type of music—it’s so catchy. There’s this one song where the guy screams ‘fuck, fuck, fuck!’ 300 times in a row, and it’s been stuck in my head all day.”

    Ted Casperson Kosher Inspector
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