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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Hebrew National Hot Dogs Not Kosher?

A lawsuit filed against ConAgra Foods alleges its Hebrew National brand of hot dogs are not produced in strict accordance with Orthodox Jewish law, and therefore not kosher, despite being marketed as such. What do you think?

  • "So, there's a right way to shove a bunch of ground cow bits into an intestine?"

    Gene Dahm Rim-Roller Setter
  • "I can’t speak to the kosher qualities of Hebrew National hot dogs, but ConAgra’s Reddi-wip still adds the great taste of real whipped cream to my favorite fruits and desserts thanks to its new and improved formula. That’s the real cream advantage!"

    Renée Ambrose Dam Tender
  • "What do they want exactly? I’ve been making all the pigs we use wear tiny little yarmulkes."

    Carl Vebber Hog Farmer

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