‘Hello Kitty’ Actually A British Schoolgirl

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Vol 50 Issue 34

Researchers: Panda Faked Pregnancy To Get More Bamboo

After discovering the marsupial wasn't actually pregnant as believed, researchers at the Chengu Giant Panda Breeding Research Center in China said that giant panda Ai Hin faked being pregnant in order to receive more bamboo, extra fruit treats, and a nice...
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‘Hello Kitty’ Actually A British Schoolgirl

Fans of “Hello Kitty” were shocked after the curator for a new retrospective exhibit at the Japanese American National Museum revealed that the feline cartoon character, who has the face of a cat, is actually a third-grade British schoolgirl named Kitty White who lives outside London, though toy company Sanrio later clarified that classifying her as human is “going too far.” What do you think?

  • “The news just keeps getting worse and worse this month.”

    Amanda Giroday
    Bread Slicer
  • “Simply identifying as a British schoolgirl does not make you one. I learned this the hard way.”

    Steve Garwood
    Unemployed
  • “Well, I guess I’m in the market for a new god.”

    Michael Hudson
    Calendar Printer
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