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Hi-Def Format War Over

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Jogger Clearly On First Run Of Plan To Turn Life Around

CHICAGO—Taking note of the man’s beat-up tennis shoes, sweat-drenched shirt, and ill-fitting pair of sweatpants as he made his way down the sidewalk, witnesses reported Tuesday that area jogger Dan Andreychuk was clearly out on his very first run of a plan to turn his life around.

What’s At Stake In New Hampshire

With the New Hampshire primary election Tuesday poised to impact the course of the 2016 presidential race, The Onion examines what’s at stake for the candidates
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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Hi-Def Format War Over

With Warner Brothers, Wal-Mart, Best Buy, and Netflix committing to Sony's Blu Ray discs, Toshiba announced that they are no longer manufacturing the rival HD-DVD. What do you think?
  • "So you're saying all that time I spent watching HD-DVD movies was a waste?"

    Pauline Walker
    Human Resources Manager
  • "In Best Buy stockrooms and Costco warehouses across the country, you can look back at the carnage left behind from the HD-DVD–Blu-Ray war and you have to ask yourself: Was it worth it?"

    Gideon Parfrey
    Systems Analyst
  • "If you're telling me I need to buy my kids another copy of Night At The Museum, I'm putting a gun in my mouth."

    Darren McCloskey
    Dock Worker

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