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Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
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High Praise Makes Kids With Low Self-Esteem Feel Worse

A new study published in the journal Psychological Science found that giving excessive praise to children with low self-esteem may actually make them feel worse, as inflated praise can put more pressure on them to consistently meet high expectations and compel them to shrink away from difficult challenges. What do you think?

  • “So I just have to be meaner to my kids? I can do that.”

    Doug Hryniewich Hazardous Waste Driver
  • "Hmmm, I better downgrade my gold star stickers to silver."

    Kara Ballinger Home Product Tester
  • “I prefer to make cryptic comments and let them take it however they want.”

    Josh Orosco Quilt Stuffer

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