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How Amazon Plans To Expand

After years of rapid growth and expansion into new industries, Amazon recently announced that it would be opening a second headquarters outside of Seattle. Here are Amazon’s plans for continued growth.

Report: Americans Now Get 44% Of Their Exercise From Licking

WASHINGTON—Saying the practice accounted for a sizable portion of the nation’s physical activity on any given day, a new report published Tuesday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health revealed that Americans currently get 44 percent of their exercise from licking things.

‘Lost Dog’ Poster Really Tooting Dog’s Horn

BROOKLYN, NY—Claiming the flyer could really stand to tone it down a little, sources said a lost dog poster that began appearing in Brooklyn’s Fort Greene neighborhood Tuesday was really tooting the dog’s horn.
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Highest Jailed Rate Ever

For the first time ever, one out of every 100 adults in the United States is in prison. What do you think?
  • "My goodness, that means that two out of every 100 adults are failures as parents."

    Kevin Slota Optometrist
  • "This points out the need for alternative sentencing, like making convicts serve food to the nation's growing prison population."

    Quinn Parnow Framer
  • "I'm not sure if they're allowed newspapers, but I'll say it anyway: Hi to Cousin Dan, Uncle Orv, my stepsister Kelsee, and also Jeff, Tom, Billy, Nick, Cody, Kalim, the Serpent, and Lester Lee."

    Buck Jansen Systems Analyst

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