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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Hillary Clinton Testifies On Benghazi Attack

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton testified before Congress today about last year’s attack on the U.S. consulate in Benghazi, Libya that left Ambassador Chris Stevens and several others dead, an assault that many Republicans contend was intentionally covered up. What do you think?

  • “If there’s such a big cover-up, how come I’ve heard of this?”

    Charles Baum Sponge Packer
  • “Hillary Clinton must be held accountable if there is to be justice for Chris Stevens and those other two or three guys.”

    Harley Casper Malt Roaster
  • “Clinton just needs to be straight with the American people and tell us exactly what happened. Unless they really screwed up—then it’d probably be best if she just made something up.”

    Robin Shouse Systems Analyst

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