Hillary Clinton's Last Day As Secretary Of State

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Cake Just Sitting There

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CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

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With over $1 billion spent in the 2016 presidential race alone, campaign donations continue to cause much controversy and even confusion for their role in shaping politics. Here is a step-by-step guide to how the average American’s political donation travels through a campaign

Roommate Skulking Around Edge Of Party Like Victorian Ghost Child

SEATTLE—Appearing initially in the far corner of the living room and then several minutes later on the threshold between the kitchen and the hallway, local roommate Kelsey Stahl was, by multiple accounts, seen skulking around the edge of a house party Friday like a Victorian ghost child.
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Hillary Clinton's Last Day As Secretary Of State

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will step down today after four years on the job and hand over the reins of U.S. foreign policy to retiring senator John Kerry. What do you think?

  • “Last days at work are the best. She could probably leave at like 3 and no one could even give her any shit about it.”

    Elton Lister Patrol Sergeant
  • “Foreign diplomats, prepare to be electrified!”

    Kristin Burton Valve Repairer
  • “It’s technically not her last day. This upcoming Monday she has to give her exit interview with HR, then stick around the State Department until Friday to train Kerry.”

    Willie Sly Dairy Farmer


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