Hillary Clinton's Last Day As Secretary Of State

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Vol 49 Issue 05

Onion Sports' Live Coverage Of Super Bowl XLVII

Highlights Pregame Nation Excited For Opportunity To Watch Harbaugh Lose Super Bowl Pregame Onion Sports' Guide To Super Bowl XLVII Pregame Coverage Nation Excited For Opportunity To Watch Harbaugh Lose Super Bowl “I’m so pumped up! I can...

Hometown Wistfully Toured Via Google Street View

COLUMBUS, OH—Eleven years after last walking through his hometown, 29-year-old local man Paul Brundage reportedly spent the entire evening Friday revisiting his childhood neighborhood in Decatur, IL using the Google Maps Street View feature.
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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Hillary Clinton's Last Day As Secretary Of State

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton will step down today after four years on the job and hand over the reins of U.S. foreign policy to retiring senator John Kerry. What do you think?

  • “Last days at work are the best. She could probably leave at like 3 and no one could even give her any shit about it.”

    Elton Lister
    Patrol Sergeant
  • “Foreign diplomats, prepare to be electrified!”

    Kristin Burton
    Valve Repairer
  • “It’s technically not her last day. This upcoming Monday she has to give her exit interview with HR, then stick around the State Department until Friday to train Kerry.”

    Willie Sly
    Dairy Farmer
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