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Hillary in '08

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Report: Someone Needs To Get Chips And Dip Away From Area Man

EDISON, NJ—Repeatedly emphasizing that the ruffled potato chips and accompanying French onion dip were just too good, a report released Thursday confirmed that someone needs to get them away from local partygoer Ian Ashcraft before he eats the whole thing.

Obama Resigns From Presidency After Michelle Lands Dream Job In Seattle

‘It’s Time I Made Some Sacrifices For This Family,’ Reports President

WASHINGTON—Saying his wife of 24 years had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his career and that it was time to return the favor, Barack Obama announced Wednesday his resignation as president of the United States of America, effective immediately, following news that Michelle Obama had landed her dream job in Seattle.
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Hillary in '08

Hillary Clinton announced that she will run for president in the 2008 election. What do you think?
  • "Is she too polarizing a figure? I say no, but apparently some fucking assholes disagree."

    Mike Irving
    Snow Removal Worker
  • "The last thing America needs is a radical liberal who supports the war and the death penalty while opposing flag-burning and gay marriage."

    Lydia Pontani
    Algebra Teacher
  • "What's she going to do next—run for president?"

    Malcom Thewlis
    Labor Mediator

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