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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

Bill O’Reilly Tearfully Packs Up Framed Up-Skirt Photos From Desk

NEW YORK—Smiling wistfully as he gazed at the cherished mementos that had sat on his desk for much of the past 20 years, former Fox News commentator Bill O’Reilly reportedly grew teary-eyed Thursday as he packed up the framed up-skirt photos from his work space following his termination by the cable channel.
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Hillary In 2004?

The 2000 presidential election is barely in the books, but talk has already turned to the possibility of Hillary Clinton making a White House run in 2004. What do you think?
  • "A woman president? What if she menstruates all over some important legislation?"

    Rich Durban Machinist
  • "Hillary would make a great president. But she'd probably ask her girlfriends for advice, and I just don't trust that Sharon."

    Annette Petersen Homemaker
  • "She's got a good shot, so long as no one blows her up, causing her faceplate to fall off and revealing the gears and diodes beneath."

    Todd Tyler Systems Analyst
  • "Would she have female Secret Service agents? Because that'd be pretty sexy."

    Bob Houdel Cashier
  • "No, no–you don't understand: The 19th Amendment gives women the right to vote for a president, that's all."

    Bob Van Eeghen Lawyer
  • "We could do worse. You know, like we always have."

    Lisa Rinaldi Physical Therapist

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Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.

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