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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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HMOs And Birth Control

HMOs do not cover birth control, a fact that has angered many people in light of HMOs' coverage of Viagra. What do you think?
  • "If HMOs are made to cover birth control, what's next–diphtheria vaccinations?"

    William Ormond Lawyer
  • "If HMOs refuse to pay for birth control, they should at least make up for it by performing as many unnecessary Caesarian sections as possible."

    Lonnie Samms Graphic Designer
  • "My HMO didn't cover birth control. Now they cover Brianna, Michael, Ashley, Renee, Devon and Jasmine."

    Samantha Eccles Cashier
  • "That's okay if HMOs won't pay for birth control: Sheila says it totally makes you pork out."

    Alicia Donegan Student
  • "HMOs should stop paying for cancer treatment, as well. That just encourages people to get cancer."

    Chris Reiner Personal Trainer
  • "Birth control should not be covered because it's a lifestyle choice. Viagra, on the other hand, saves lives."

    Benjamin Schell Math Teacher
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