Holder Seeks More Lenient Sentences For Drug Users

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Vol 49 Issue 33

Government Finally Admits Existence Of Area 51

In declassified CIA documents, the government officially acknowledged for the first time ever the existence of Area 51, saying that the top-secret location in the Nevada desert was created as a testing site for the U-2 spy plane in the 1950s.

Dog Unaware It Isn't Starving

Scientists finally pronounce the human genome, a new report finds that the Washington Redskins’ name is only offensive if you think about what it means, and a bigoted asshole makes the best barbecue.
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Holder Seeks More Lenient Sentences For Drug Users

Attorney General Eric Holder outlined a proposal today to give judges more discretion in drug cases by eliminating mandatory minimum sentences for low-level, nonviolent drug offenders, which have been in place since the 1980s. What do you think?

  • “Holder’s just begging to be drug tested.”

    Rosemary Gee
    Hide Soaker
  • “Sounds like someone is angling for a Teen Choice Award.”

    Wayne Sakai
    Systems Analyst
  • “He’s got my vote. Holder 2015!”

    Guy Gutierrez
    Popcorn Maker
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