Holiday Travel Plans

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How To Talk To Your Child About Death

When your family has experienced a loss, it can be a difficult concept for young children to process. The Onion breaks down the best ways to converse with your child about the realities of death

Jayson Werth Catches Foul Ball Without Spilling Beer

WASHINGTON—In an incredible play that drew cheers from the whole stadium, Washington Nationals left fielder Jayson Werth managed to catch a foul ball Tuesday night without spilling the beer he was holding in his other hand.

NASA Deploys Congressional Rover To Search For Funding

WASHINGTON—Calling the program “the most crucial in the agency’s history,” researchers at NASA announced Wednesday they have successfully deployed a Special Exploratory Rover to Congress as part of an open-ended mission to seek out any possible trace of funding on Capitol Hill.
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How will you be dealing with hectic holiday travel?
  • "I'll be the guy on the bus with Bing Crosby's White Christmas blaring from my boombox, which I will carry on my shoulder."

    Billy Tetreault
    Marketing Advisor
  • "I'm converting to Islam. Not only will I do my holiday traveling in a different month, I won't have to visit my family since they'll disown me!"

    Caroline Stroli
    Teacher
  • "I'll be glued to the Weather Channel for inclement weather and traffic reports so I know how anxious to be when I travel."

    Lonny Werner
    Buzzsaw Operator