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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Hollywood Eating Disorders

Helen Hunt, Courteney Cox and Ally McBeal's Calista Flockhart are among a wave of actresses recently rumored to have eating disorders. What do you think about extreme thinness in Hollywood?
  • "Helen Hunt has an eating disorder? You'd compulsively self-induce vomiting too if you had to listen to Paul Reiser whine all day."

    Dennis Pittman Claims Adjuster
  • "It's almost as if Hollywood puts a premium on thinness and beauty."

    Teri LaCorte Waitress
  • "It's wrong to assume a woman has an eating disorder just because she's a bit thin. She may just be in the final stages of cancer."

    David Ruhle Systems Analyst
  • "It could be worse. They could be getting big and fat like that cow Kate Winslet."

    Larry Sambito Accountant
  • "They're only doing it because the camera adds 75 to 80 pounds."

    Alison Howe Bank Teller
  • "So you're saying our nation's sitcom actresses may be starving themselves to death? Now what is the problem exactly?"

    Matt Sutton Plumber

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