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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Hollywood Eating Disorders

Helen Hunt, Courteney Cox and Ally McBeal's Calista Flockhart are among a wave of actresses recently rumored to have eating disorders. What do you think about extreme thinness in Hollywood?
  • "Helen Hunt has an eating disorder? You'd compulsively self-induce vomiting too if you had to listen to Paul Reiser whine all day."

    Dennis Pittman Claims Adjuster
  • "It's almost as if Hollywood puts a premium on thinness and beauty."

    Teri LaCorte Waitress
  • "It's wrong to assume a woman has an eating disorder just because she's a bit thin. She may just be in the final stages of cancer."

    David Ruhle Systems Analyst
  • "It could be worse. They could be getting big and fat like that cow Kate Winslet."

    Larry Sambito Accountant
  • "They're only doing it because the camera adds 75 to 80 pounds."

    Alison Howe Bank Teller
  • "So you're saying our nation's sitcom actresses may be starving themselves to death? Now what is the problem exactly?"

    Matt Sutton Plumber
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