Home Trampolines Responsible For 1 Million ER Visits

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Vol 50 Issue 19

Sports Drink Company Putting First Advertisement On Moon

Japanese pharmaceutical company Otsuka has announced plans to put their sports drink Pocari Sweat on the moon in a specially equipped container bearing their logo, which, if successful, would be the first time a commercial product has been flown to the mo...

Dad Way Scarier When Controlling Temper

SANTA ROSA, CA—Noting the 51-year-old’s increasingly flushed complexion, wide and intense eyes, and slow, heavy breathing during an argument Friday morning, local siblings Jeff and Katie Russell told reporters that their father, Dave Russell, ...
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Home Trampolines Responsible For 1 Million ER Visits

A new study has found that between 2002 and 2011, accidents involving backyard trampolines resulted in more than 1 million trips to the emergency room to treat bone fractures and other injuries. What do you think?

  • “Sounds like a problem that can be solved with four or five surrounding trampolines.”

    Simon Odell
    Pulpwood Cutter
  • “I don’t blame the trampoline. My 8-year-old went into this with his eyes open.”

    Celeste Thorne
    Home Lighting Advisor
  • “Christ, am I the only goddamn person in this country who knows how to use a fucking trampoline?”

    Caleb Haley
    Compliance Officer
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