Homelessness Crackdown

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Area Dad Thinks Refs Should Just Let Them Play Football

DOYLESTOWN, PA—Facetiously questioning how the game had suddenly become a non-contact sport, local father Aaron Harper confirmed his belief Thursday that referees officiating a Thanksgiving game between the Philadelphia Eagles and Detroit Lions should just let them play football out there.
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Homelessness Crackdown

In addition to New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani's controversial order for arrests of the homeless, many city officials are passing legislation to address the growing problem of homelessness. What do you think about these so-called anti-homelessness laws?
  • "In this day and age, people shouldn't be living in the streets. They should be down in the subway tunnels where we don't have to look at them."

    Dorothy Corson
  • "Hey, I bought my Comic Relief sweatshirt. If you're still homeless, it's your own goddamn fault."

    John Metcalfe
    Library Assistant
  • "I don't think them as anti-homelessness laws. I think of them as pro-homeowner laws."

    Thomas Canby
    Ceramic Engineer
  • "Thank God we've finally stopped looking at the causes of this terrible social problem and started focusing on the symptoms."

    George Crossette
    Systems Analyst
  • "The fact is that most of the homeless aren't 'just lazy' or even simply unemployed—they're under the effects of CIA mind-control satellites which speak to them through street dogs."

    Julie Billard
  • "Three cheers for Mayor Giuliani! Get those bums off the street! What? I wasn't loitering, Officer. I was just answering the reporter's question. Hey, let go! Aagh!"

    Andy Poggenpohl
    Data Entry Clerk