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Friends Don’t Understand How Man Not Depressed

Citing factors such as his low-paying job, lack of foreseeable prospects, and modest living conditions, sources close to local resident Karl Brewster said Thursday they are at a loss to explain his day-to-day cheerfulness in the face of such a bleak exist...

Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Hoover Biopic Opens Today

Clint Eastwood's film J. Edgar, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as controversial FBI head J. Edgar Hoover, opens today. What do you think?

  • "Oooh, I can't wait to finally find out what the ‘J’ stands for."

    Christine Goldberg Systems Analyst
  • "I wish the studios would actually pay attention to their customers and hear our cries for a movie about the life and times of former Commerce Secretary Sinclair Weeks."

    Josh Hillman Machine Feeder
  • "Oliver Stone, you mean. Oliver Stone directed this, right?"

    Marlon Rustin Unemployed

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