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Man Hoping Game Gets Out Of Hand So He Can Do Something Else

DENVER—Settling into his apartment’s cramped living room to watch the midday game, local man Garrett Neubauer told reporters Wednesday that he hoped the televised baseball game between the Colorado Rockies and the San Francisco Giants would get out of hand soon so he could do something else.

20 Years Of Harry Potter

J.K. Rowling published ‘Harry Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone’ on June 26th, 1997, and it instantly became a cultural touchstone. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the 20-year history of the Harry Potter franchise.

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.
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Horse Meat Found In European 'Beef' Lasagna, Hamburgers

Several weeks after horse meat was found in frozen hamburgers in Irish and British supermarkets, frozen food purveyors in the U.K. and France announced the recall of lasagna and other products that contained up to 100 percent horse meat. What do you think?

  • “Well, if they’re not going to eat any of it, I’d be happy to take it off their hands for them.”

    Cedric Ashbrook Caddie
  • “That’s disgusting! Horses are not for eating! Cows are for eating!”

    Rosalind Gooding Fingerprint Clerk
  • “Boy, these Europeans sure are a bunch of snobs.”

    Fernando Miro Bean Sprout Grower

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