adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Horse Meat Found In Ikea Meatballs

In the latest turn in Europe’s widening horse meat scandal, investigators found equine DNA in meatballs served in the cafeteria of an Ikea in the Czech Republic, prompting the company to pull its meatball products from stores throughout much of Europe. What do you think?

  • “I may never eat another meal served by a furniture store again.”

    Natalie Ciccone Nickel Plater
  • “Ick, I hate horse meat.”

    James Eaton Acetylene Welder
  • “You know these Swedish chefs. You ask them what’s in the dish, and they just babble incoherently and throw a colander at a live chicken.”

    Barry Vidnic School Psychologist
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close