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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Horse Meat Found In Ikea Meatballs

In the latest turn in Europe’s widening horse meat scandal, investigators found equine DNA in meatballs served in the cafeteria of an Ikea in the Czech Republic, prompting the company to pull its meatball products from stores throughout much of Europe. What do you think?

  • “I may never eat another meal served by a furniture store again.”

    Natalie Ciccone Nickel Plater
  • “Ick, I hate horse meat.”

    James Eaton Acetylene Welder
  • “You know these Swedish chefs. You ask them what’s in the dish, and they just babble incoherently and throw a colander at a live chicken.”

    Barry Vidnic School Psychologist
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