adBlockCheck

Recent News

Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.
End Of Section
  • More News

Hostess Brands Going Out Of Business

Hostess Brands, the manufacturer of such iconic products as Twinkies, Ho Hos, and Wonder Bread, announced that it would shut its doors permanently and liquidate its assets. What do you think?

  • “I had always assumed that no matter how hard a beating it took, Hostess would effortlessly spring back.”

    Russell Priestley Clinical Psychologist
  • “You forgot about Donettes. Everyone always forgets about Donettes.”

    Jay Grunke Diamond Cutter
  • “This is your kingdom now, Little Debbie. Rule with mercy.”

    Margie Wynkoop Systems Analyst

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close