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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Hostess Brands Going Out Of Business

Hostess Brands, the manufacturer of such iconic products as Twinkies, Ho Hos, and Wonder Bread, announced that it would shut its doors permanently and liquidate its assets. What do you think?

  • “I had always assumed that no matter how hard a beating it took, Hostess would effortlessly spring back.”

    Russell Priestley Clinical Psychologist
  • “You forgot about Donettes. Everyone always forgets about Donettes.”

    Jay Grunke Diamond Cutter
  • “This is your kingdom now, Little Debbie. Rule with mercy.”

    Margie Wynkoop Systems Analyst
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