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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.

Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.
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Hotmail Rebranded Outlook.com

Microsoft recently announced that its 16-year-old online e-mail service Hotmail would be streamlined, closely integrated with social media, and renamed Outlook.com. What do you think?

  • “Microsoft is a really nimble company.”

    Kirk Sanchez Munitions Handler
  • “I hope they finally got rid of that password nonsense. Who can remember such things? Just let me check my e-mail already!”

    Jane Grill Leather Cutter
  • “Normally I fall for lame re-branding attempts, so okay, sign me up.”

    Colby Ziesmer Facilities Planner
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