adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

Hottest 12 Months On Record

The period between May 2011 and April 2012 was the hottest since record-keeping began in 1895. What do you think?

  • "I was wondering why I was complaining so much."

    Tina Waterland Systems Analyst
  • "Sweet. My cousin Thad just put in a pool."

    Arlen Marotte Field-Ring Assembler
  • "No, it wasn't."

    Pete Murchison Stamping-Die Try-Out Worker
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close