adBlockCheck

Recent News

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
End Of Section
  • More News

'House' To End

Producers for the show House announced the current season of the popular medical drama would be its last. What do you think?

  • "It was starting to get repetitive. Every episode this season involved a patient whose eye popped out."

    Kyle Stinson Systems Analyst
  • "It just goes to show you there's no place for a medical drama in America."

    Jenna Westerberg Warp Coiler
  • "Dammit, House, this is what happens when you don't play by the rules. I warned you!"

    Alexander Mars Unemployed
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close