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Your Horoscopes — Week Of January 24, 2017

Aquarius No offense, but when got into this business, dealing with empty and meaningless futures like yours sure as hell wasn’t what it had in mind. Pisces Though you’ve been told that dressing up once in a while wouldn’t kill you, the coroner’s report this week will contain evidence to the contrary.

How Trump Plans To ‘Drain The Swamp’

One of Donald Trump’s central presidential campaign promises was to “drain the swamp” by ridding Washington politics of corruption and corporate influence. Here’s how he plans to do it.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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House Votes To Repeal 'Obamacare'

In a largely symbolic measure, the House of Representatives voted 244-185 to repeal the Affordable Care Act, the 33rd time in the past year and a half that the GOP-controlled chamber has sought to eliminate or curb the policy. What do you think?

  • “I heard they almost got Obama on the 29th time.”

    Matt Carney Financial Adviser
  • “If Republicans weren’t so obsessed with Obamacare, they could move on to other important parts of their symbolic legislative agenda, like banning our nation’s teachers from pursuing their rampantly gay agenda.”

    Damien Ma International Relations Specialist
  • “That’s leadership right there.”

    Emily Scott Mortician

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