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‘The Princess Bride’ By The Numbers

‘The Princess Bride’ was released 30 years ago today, and it has since become a classic beloved by people of all ages. ‘The Onion’ looks back at ‘The Princess Bride’ 30 years later.

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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House Votes To Repeal 'Obamacare'

In a largely symbolic measure, the House of Representatives voted 244-185 to repeal the Affordable Care Act, the 33rd time in the past year and a half that the GOP-controlled chamber has sought to eliminate or curb the policy. What do you think?

  • “I heard they almost got Obama on the 29th time.”

    Matt Carney Financial Adviser
  • “If Republicans weren’t so obsessed with Obamacare, they could move on to other important parts of their symbolic legislative agenda, like banning our nation’s teachers from pursuing their rampantly gay agenda.”

    Damien Ma International Relations Specialist
  • “That’s leadership right there.”

    Emily Scott Mortician

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