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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Hugo Chávez Wins Third Term

Socialist Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez, who has served for nearly 14 years, was elected to his third six-year term Sunday with 54 percent of the vote, beating out former provincial governor Henrique Capriles Radonski. What do you think?

  • “Oh, no, not another six years of Chávez bringing America to its knees!”

    Vicente Alvarez Systems Analyst
  • “The Venezuelan people are going to be upset when they learn he’s a socialist.”

    Redmond Philpott Bicycle Messenger
  • “I wouldn’t want to be on Capriles’ campaign staff right about now. Or Chávez’s. What I’m saying is that I hate Venezuela and wouldn’t want to have a job that would require me to live there.”

    Myra Greenaway Window Washer
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