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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Hugo Chávez Wins Third Term

Socialist Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez, who has served for nearly 14 years, was elected to his third six-year term Sunday with 54 percent of the vote, beating out former provincial governor Henrique Capriles Radonski. What do you think?

  • “Oh, no, not another six years of Chávez bringing America to its knees!”

    Vicente Alvarez Systems Analyst
  • “The Venezuelan people are going to be upset when they learn he’s a socialist.”

    Redmond Philpott Bicycle Messenger
  • “I wouldn’t want to be on Capriles’ campaign staff right about now. Or Chávez’s. What I’m saying is that I hate Venezuela and wouldn’t want to have a job that would require me to live there.”

    Myra Greenaway Window Washer
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