Hugo Chávez Wins Third Term

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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.


Hugo Chávez Wins Third Term

Socialist Venezuelan president Hugo Chávez, who has served for nearly 14 years, was elected to his third six-year term Sunday with 54 percent of the vote, beating out former provincial governor Henrique Capriles Radonski. What do you think?

  • “Oh, no, not another six years of Chávez bringing America to its knees!”

    Vicente Alvarez
    Systems Analyst
  • “The Venezuelan people are going to be upset when they learn he’s a socialist.”

    Redmond Philpott
    Bicycle Messenger
  • “I wouldn’t want to be on Capriles’ campaign staff right about now. Or Chávez’s. What I’m saying is that I hate Venezuela and wouldn’t want to have a job that would require me to live there.”

    Myra Greenaway
    Window Washer