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National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
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Human Cloning

South Korean scientists successfully cloned a human embryo, a procedure some feel is unethical. What do you think?
  • "I applaud this scientific breakthrough, as long as they don't use it to clone more Hitlers. Maybe one Pol Pot, if they absolutely have to, but no Hitlers."

    Fred Watson Systems <br>Analyst
  • "No thanks. I prefer the kind of stem cells you produce from getting laid."

    Nicole Henderson Registered Nurse
  • "I just told my 3-year-old that babies come from cabbage patches. How the hell am I going to explain this?"

    Billy Cook Social Worker
  • "So a future in which I can clone myself, hunt myself down for sport, and then claim it wasn't murder because it was only me that I killed is just around the corner?"

    Justin Barnes Bartender
  • "Finally, someone invented a way to make more Asians."

    Harold Price Music Director
  • "This has limitless scientific possibilities, which means one thing: We must keep Christians from finding out about it."

    Rose Coleman Window Trimmer

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