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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Human Culture Much Older Than Thought

Scientists recently discovered 44,000-year-old jewelry made from ostrich eggs and poison-tipped arrows in a South African cave, a finding that suggests modern human culture emerged more than 20,000 years earlier than previously believed. What do you think?

  • “Well, I still say we don’t look a day over 18,000 years old.”

    Marjorie Speck Boarding House Manager
  • “To find that we’ve had 20,000 more years to develop culturally just means there’s that much more to feel ashamed about."

    Jack Slyter Probate Lawyer
  • “Something definitely got lost over time, because my own poison-tipped arrows can’t kill for shit.”

    William Sheedy Lumber Sorter

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