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Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Obesity: Myth Vs. Fact

With as many as one in three people in the U.S. qualifying as obese, misconceptions are often formed about what it means to be significantly overweight. The Onion separates obesity myths from facts

A Primer On North Korea

The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea remains largely unknown to Americans due mainly to the secrecy and isolationism upheld by its government. The Onion provides a primer on North Korea’s people and culture
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Human Evolution Gene Discovered

Scientists have discovered the gene that causes human brains to evolve beyond those of chimps. What do you think?
  • "I heard that, coincidentally, it's also the same gene that diminishes interest in bananas to a reasonable level."

    Gina Helms Mailing Services Provider
  • "Excuse me, but I think you mean: 'God allowed scientists to discover the gene that God made specifically for humans and not chimps.''"

    Harry Benson Systems Analyst
  • "Ah, I always suspected that we humans had a slight edge."

    Lloyd Farber Costume Designer

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