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A Primer On The Dark Web

With many crimes now originating on encrypted areas of the internet, many wonder about the so-called dark web and its activities. The Onion provides a primer on this obscured digital space:

Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.
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Human Progenitors Had Barbed Penises

According to a study published in the journal Nature, missing chunks of DNA show that human ancestors may once have had barbed penises. What do you think?

  • "What do you mean 'may once have had'?"

    Eric Robinson Systems Analyst
  • "I was hoping upon hope you were going to say 'winged,' but no, you said 'barbed' instead."

    Patricia Thomison Dentist
  • "That all changed when we discovered we could use our hands to pick things up."

    Christopher Brugerman Assistant Managing Editor
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Woman Conducting Ongoing Scientific Experiment On Own Skin

DULUTH, MN—Noting her methodic applications of various chemical agents in carefully controlled combinations, sources confirmed Wednesday that local woman Sara Holloway has been carrying out an open-ended scientific experiment on her own skin.

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